The Official Assistance Request Form (HUMOR)
Last Updated: 27 Aug 2004
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*** PLEASE NOTE: Link(s), If Provided, May Be Wrapped ***
The following was generously provided by B_INSKIPY on
the MaximumPC Forums, and the humor is greatly appreciated:
http://forums.delphiforums.com/maxcommport/messages?msg=116199.1
In order to streamline the handling of problems within the
system, your friendly systems administration team has
endorsed the following ISO 900000000 policy.
Please fill out the following questionnaire each time you
have a computer problem. With your co-operation we should
be able to provide faster and more efficient service and
support.
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COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM
==============================
1. Describe your problem:
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
4. Problem severity:
A. Minor __
B. Minor __
C. Minor __
D. Trivial __
5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up __
B. Frozen __
C. Hung __
D. Shot __
6. Is your computer plugged in?
Yes __ No __
7. Is it turned on?
Yes __ No __
8. Have you tried to fix if yourself?
Yes __ No __
9. Have you made it worse?
Yes __
10. Have you read the manual?
Yes __ No __
11. Are you sure you've read the manual?
Yes __ No__
12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual?
No __
13. Do you think you understood it?
Yes __ No __
14. If 'Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?
______________________________________________________
15. How tall are you? Are you above this line?
______________________________________________________
16. What were you doing with your computer at the time
the problem occurred?
______________________________________________________
17. If 'nothing', explain why you were logged in and
how you noticed the problem:
______________________________________________________
18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?
No __
19. How does this problem make you feel?
______________________________________________________
20. Tell us about your childhood:
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem?
Yes __ No__
22. Can you do something else instead of bothering us?
Yes __ No__
OTHER LOVELY HELP FORMS
